improvident lackwit

Not In Paraguay

Richard — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 18:11:15 PST

Karen, through her Google Reader shared items, pointed me to a BoingBoing post about eyelash growth drug, and got the Simpsons reference before I did!: when Homer entered Lisa in a beauty contest, Lisa and another girl in the contest got to talking after Amber Dempsy walked in the room with her gigantic eyelashes.

Girl 1: Eyelash implants.
Lisa: [puzzled] I thought those were illegal?
Girl 1: Not in Paraguay.

I must get back to Dancecentrum in Struttgart in time to see Kraftwerk

Richard — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 17:43:57 PST

John Book reports, with sadness, but also with video, that one of the founding members of Kraftwerk has left the band. My favourite reference to those German minimalists was at the end of the Flying Hellfish episode when the "rightful owner" of the paintings Bart and Grampa rescued. On his way out, the German said, in a thick accent, to the two Simpsons: "I must get back to Dancecentrum in Struttgart in time to see Kraftwerk."

Pff. Friends of the Library?

Richard — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 15:41:55 PST

On its quite good and just-frequently-updated-enough Twitter feed, the Vancouver Public Library asked its followers to become a friend of the VPL. Nevermind that it's pointing to their Facebook page where one becomes a "fan", not a "friend", the Twitter writer is a librarian and knows that there are local organizations dedicated to helping fun library events and collections, and it reminded me of Homer's dismissive attitude to book repositories:

Marge: Oooh, Friends of the Library is holding a historic manuscript viewing!
Homer: Pff. *Friends* of the library?

Please, children, scootch closer.

Richard — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 08:40:55 PDT

Karen, via her Google Reader Shared Items, points me to a "satirical remix" of Goodnight Moon. Of course we all know that Christopher Walken's appearance on the Simpsons had him reading Goodnight Moon to some frightened children:

"Goodnight Goodnight Moon. Goodnight cow jumping over the moon." Please, children, scootch closer. Don't make me tell you *again* about the scootching. You in the red, chop-chop.

I'm tired of fumbling with round fruit.

Richard — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:44:51 PDT

Jeffrey Simpson (unrelated to the cartoon TV family) posts a short bit about a square watermelon found in Vancouver, which of course reminded me of the square watermelon found at an outdoor fruit store in Japan:

Marge: Oh, my goodness! Homer, those are $150!
Homer: It's worth every cent. I'm tired of fumbling with round fruit.
[the watermelon expands to its original shape and Homer accidentally drops it]

He Wore Sneakers ... For Sneaking!

Richard — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 15:54:57 PST

Today BlogTO publishes a picture (the original is difficult to find because they do not link to the original, violating Flickr's terms of service) of people wearing sneakers with the caption "Sneakers are for sneaking!". This is likely a direct reference to the episode in which Abe Simpson catches the Springfield Cat Burgler and tells his family how he caught the culprit:

Abe: He was right under my nose the whole time. He lives in my retirement home. His name is Malloy.
Lisa: Wow! How'd you track him down, Grampa?
Abe: Good question! On one of my frequent trips to the ground, I noticed Malloy wore sneakers...for sneaking. My next clue came yesterday at the museum. We felt slighted by your age-bashing, and started home. Malloy said, "I'll catch up with you."
[Malloy shoots a rope over the building]
I couldn't quite put my finger on it. There was something strange about the way he walked -- much more vertical than usual. And finally, Malloy, unlike most retired people, has the world's largest cubic zirconia on his coffee table.

Hat tip to Karen.

Well, They Sure Sucked the Fun Out of That Poem

Richard — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 16:37:03 PST

Darren Barefoot posted to Jaiku and Twitter a line from the John Keats poem "Ode on a Grecian Urn". Just yesterday I learned about TruthBeauty, an exhibition of Pictorialist photography at the Vancouver Art Gallery. Both reminded me of when the Simpsons family got a tour of the military school Bart was to attend, and they passed by a classroom.

Cadet: Truth is beauty, beauty truth, sir!
Lisa: They're discussing poetry! Oh, they never do that at my school.
Teacher: But the truth can be harsh and disturbing! How can that be considered beautiful?
Marge: Well, they sure sucked the fun out of that poem.

So One of Those Egg Council Creeps Got To You Too, Huh?

Richard — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 15:57:06 PDT

Yesterday over at Magpie & Cake, we get a pointer to a photo of someone in an egg costume in a New York City Parade. This reminded me of the Stonecutter episode where Homer just discovers the secretive group and asks Lenny how he can become a member.

Homer: Stonecutters, eh? How do I join?
Lenny: There are only two ways to gain membership: be the son of a Stonecutter --
Homer: Next?
Lenny: -- or, save the life of a Stonecutter. [starts to eat a sandwich]
Homer: Hey! [grabs it, stomps on it] I saved your life! That egg sandwich could have killed you by cholesterol.
Lenny: Pfft, forget it, Homer. While it has been established that eggs contain cholesterol, it has not yet been proven conclusively that they actually raise the level of serum cholesterol in the human blood stream.
Homer: So one of those Egg Council creeps got to you too, huh?
Lenny: Aw, you've got it all wrong, Homer. It's not like that.
[a man in an egg costume creeps, then runs, away]
Homer: You'd better run, egg!

Will Drop Pants For Food

Richard — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 23:25:32 PDT

In a Flickr thread about the Creative Commons, one commenter laments what she thinks is something that prevents her from making money. I have to admit, I don't understand the resentment that people who charge feel towards people who give it away (it's been happening since people started charging for stuff), but it reminded me of the episode where Krusty held a comeback show, but not before finding himself penniless.

[Bart sees Krusty standing in the street holding a sign that says "will drop pants for food".]
Bart: Huh! Oh no! Krusty are you making any money?
Krusty: Nah, That guy's giving it away for free! [points]
Crazy old man: Old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be...

And later:

[Krusty turns on TV and finds the Crazy Old Man in his underwear dancing.]
Crazy old man: Old gray mare she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be...
TV announcer: And now the Crazy Old Man Singers.
Crazy Old Men: Old gray mare she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be...

(I found the quote at a Yahoo! Answers post, not at the snpp.com episode guide, where I expected to find it. Also, I changed it to the American spelling, despite, as a good Canadian, my preferring the British spelling.)

On This Site, In 1989, Nothing Happened

Richard — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 11:24:11 PDT

Derek reminds us that 18 years ago, the Chinese government cracked down on protesters in Beijing's Tiananmen Square. In one of the better recent episodes of The Simpsons, the family visited China, and we the viewers are shown this "monument" at the place were several people were killed and injured at the hands of the military:

Screenshot from the episode of The Simpsons titled "Goo Goo Gai Pan" with a crude correction of the pinyin (in the episode it was "Tien An Men", originally found at TaiwanIndependence. More quotes from the episode at Watching China.